You Never Know What Lies Ahead.

Posted on 22. Jul, 2016 by in Brad, Couples, He-Said-She-Said

You never know what lies ahead.

Recently, I had taken portraits of my parents, it was their 70th anniversary and my mom’s 90th birthday. It was a beautiful day, lots of sunshine and pleasant temperatures. Mom and Dad have always loved being outdoors. Naturally, that was where we started. Growing up, it was rare for me to see my parents hug or kiss; they were not prone to openly showing physical affection. At one point, I told Dad to take his hand out of his pocket and when he did, he reached down and held Mom’s hand. Mom looked at me and said, “isn’t it amazing that we still hold hands after 70 years.”  I’ll always remember that when I look at the portraits we created that day.  After we completed some storytelling portraits outside we went into the studio to take some B&W’s with old Hollywood style lighting. We teased Dad about how handsome and debonair he looked. Even he was impressed and could hardly believe that the image on the back of the camera was him.

A couple weeks later I received a phone call early one morning, you know the one all children of aging parents dread. My mom had collapsed in the middle of the kitchen. She couldn’t move and was incoherent. Thoughts raced through my mind, all kinds of things flashed rapidly by in a continuous bullet train of questions. “Was she going to be OK?” “Was anything broken?” “Can she talk?” Etc., etc. She was rushed to the hospital, where they determined she had suffered a stroke. She couldn’t get out of bed, was very confused and her speech was not totally coherent. She was doing better by the time I arrived but still couldn’t get around, which considering what my mom is like, always having been exceptionally active, was something very hard to witness. After a couple days, she could get around with help and was allowed to go back home. She has made a partial recovery and is now mobile but doesn’t have the clarity she did.

Often I hear, “I wish I had”, “if only I had taken the time”, “I would give anything if”, “I regret…”, etc.

Every one of these statements, that have been shared with me, are because something has happened to a loved one or families have grown older – either older children or older parents. All I can say at that point is, I understand, we get so busy we forget to take the time. I may hear these phrases more often than most simply because of what I do; freezing a moment in time, making those who age, ageless. Of course, any photograph does that, but what my clients tell me over and over, is for them, the portraits I create not only freeze time but more importantly communicate to all that see them the essence of the people portrayed. Often I’m told when they walk by the portraits of their family, children, or parents, emotions and memories come flooding back. A common statement is,” I feel as though I could just reach out and touch them; it helps me feel close to them even if they are far away”.

That morning, on my way to the hospital, one thought that ran through my mind was, I am glad I don’t have to say, “If only I had…”Cansler_8448294_FBCansler_8448315_FBCansler_8448405_FBCansler_8448389_FB


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